The Way Home – Letter To A Friend

Peace Dear Friend,

Pray this finds you well. 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the topic of “ Abusive Women”. This is a profoundly overlooked area in recovery – I agree that mens’ rights have been deliberately bypassed in truly grievous ways and the issue deserves to be addressed. I recall a friend who confided to me that one of her male relatives, who experienced abuse as a child once remarked to her: “ we are all victims of victims”. This statement felt profoundly resonant and I sincerely feel that to be true.

Gabor Mate speaks of the compartmentalisation of the child’s need to express and be seen versus the demands and unhealthy relational patterns of the parent. This dynamic  inevitably results in the negation of the child’s selfhood and so a child abandons themselves in order to meet the needs and gain the love & approval of the parent. Every child knows their safety depends on this relationship with the parent.

It pains my heart to know that so many children suffer and today as you once said, we see a world filled with unloved adults circulating around us, in an unconscious state of loss. Tragically, many never heal and others simply refuse because the challenge is too daunting.

Today as we witness a live genocide happening in Gaza – can we imagine what the children of over 688,000 Palestinians must be experiencing? The massive loss of life? While the governments of the world watch – the US/UK and other countries fund a holocaust at the cost of billions? 

Our world is being engineered deliberately to create disempowered fractured human beings who are codependent on the oligarchical powers that be to parent them. And so the cycle of global trauma, fear and toxicity continues to this day. This is the challenge humanity faces today – to awaken from the matrix of collective trauma that is being socially engineered by a hegemonic global elite who control our economies and societies.

As we progress on the path of recovering our selves and only when we have taken full self accountability can humanity embrace their light- step into their own sovereignty and establish a more just and peaceful world. It begins with oneself.

There is a deliberate attack perpetuated upon both masculinity and femininity – the ‘gender wars‘ have for centuries served only to sow mistrust and widen the gap of misunderstanding between the sexes. Only the corrupt profiteer in the end. Birth rates are decreasing world wide at an alarming level and loneliness has become a systemic issue. As long as men and women are pitted against one another and at odds there can be no true peace. Men and women were designed to coexist in harmony with one another. 

“ The believers both men and women are allies {guardians} of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong.”  {9:71}

This is the Divine blueprint. When morality and God are removed from our lives – we will witness the erosion and disintegration of a society or peoples. The Russian writer Solzhenitsyn wrote in his powerful speech: ‘A great disaster has befallen Russia. Men have forgotten God’.

I myself was raised by parents who deeply loved their children but carried unhealed trauma within. This is why it is crucial that we both- male or female – proactively choose to heal. So many don’t and the cycle of trauma perpetuates inter-generationally. My own memoir which I am currently writing will discuss this in greater detail.

It is essential for our wellbeing and that of our communities to heal the ancestral trauma in our lineages. In doing so, we liberate the future generations from the past. Healing is part of the spiritual path – God tells us on this plane of existence there will be suffering, loss and pain – it is a test. And in this test lies our invitation to grow.

There is a gift in the pain we experience- it opens us up to the light of becoming – who we were meant to be. And in doing so we become that light for others to find their way home. Everything is Divinely guided- as arduous as the path is in the earthly realm it offers us the opportunity to overcome and excel.

In fostering trust and belief in the Divine Plan, actively working to overcome ego and surrender – peace follows. This is the wisdom of not only the Islamic faith, but of every great tradition. It is a practice of daily reflection and prayer.

Thank you for contributing to the worthy cause of awakening others through your valuable work. It is deeply appreciated.

God bless. 

Warm regards,

Nayla

“ Do not, then, either lose heart or grieve: for you shall surely gain the upper hand if you are true of faith.”  {3:13}